I’ve moved…! It’s been one week since we packed up our things, said goodbye to Bristol and hello to Leek. And it’s just starting to sink in. Just starting to feel normal. I’m just starting to find a balance.
I haven’t taken many pictures this week, but I’ve had lots of thoughts buzzing around my brain, and lots of feelings beating through my heart. So I thought I would attempt to empty them out here, in my diary.
I have so many notebooks, sketchbooks, journals, planners, diaries; big, small, thick, thin, handmade, empty, well-loved… I’ve been trying to organise them, trying to organise my ideas: which do I need? How can they serve me? One book for planning and tracking, one book for observing and thinking, one book for reflecting and experimenting. One mind to hold it all together. But what do they contain?
I have so many interests, so many skills half-learnt, so many skills still to add to the list. So much potential. So many opportunities. So much to know, places to see, people I haven’t met… so much I’m still afraid of. I’ve been reading, researching, watching, observing, exploring.
I’ve been asking myself questions. Thinking about options: this or that. What do I like? What don’t I agree with? Where do I fit in? What’s right? What’s wrong? Where does the time go?
I want to create. But still this same question: what to create? And what for?
Recently I’ve been interested in mixed media art, journals, drawing, letters, cards, paper, cutting, sticking, layers… mess vs. arrangement, wild nature vs. clean manmade… How to create without destroying at the same time? How to get past my conscience to avoid destroying my own sanity. After all, how much weight can one pair of shoulders take?
If you train hard enough, you could lift more than people might expect. Yesterday we saw a strong-woman street-performer lift two grown men off the floor. Maybe I could train myself to take the weight of the world on my shoulders. Or maybe I could train myself to take the weight of the world off my conscience.
Creativity is here for you first. What you create and what brings you joy, is for you first. And for others second. What do I enjoy? What process do I enjoy? Forget about the problems and the consequences; the packaging, the waste, the plastic, the manmade… all we can do is try. Sometimes trying becomes too trying, and tears tear us apart. Let the creativity through and open up to inspiration.
We can work out the problems along the way, and find that balance. Think of my yoga practice; the breath, the strength from within; grounding down, whilst lifting up; connecting mind and body.
Balance can only be achieved in calm, not in anger. Balance can only be found with knowledge, not with ignorance. So keep learning, keep creating, and keep breathing in inspiration. We will find clarity, and we will see that the universe is unfolding as it should, and we are already where we are meant to be.
Until next time, stay creative; stay true to you.
Peace and love,
p.s. The wonderful flag is a handmade leaving gift from one of our Bristol friends, which was accompanied by a ‘Bye Bye Bristol’ flag. I love receiving handmade gifts!